For You, A Thousand Times Over
by szsz
Summary: Hassan's POV, in the alleyway. Chapter 7


p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="f31dd2439e79df4ab244af30da4140bc"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;""I've changed my mind" Assef said. "I'm leting you keep the kite, Hazara. I'll let you keep it so it will always remind you of what I'm about to do."/span/em/p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="f31dd2439e79df4ab244af30da4140bc" /p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555; text-align: center;" data-p-id="68c1773c5c17e0514433c718a439d969" -/p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555; text-align: center;" data-p-id="68c1773c5c17e0514433c718a439d969" /p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="a42f51157d12f8959574010b8c2be804"It did not take long before I was thrust upon the white blanket of snow. Maybe this was the price I had to pay for you. At least the kite was no longer their worry now. I braced myself for the strong, irregular impact of metal, staining my body black and blue./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="a42f51157d12f8959574010b8c2be804" /p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="7ca2a5986b2490527d7e384099e0a0f1"But instead, worse. Hands fumbled at my hips, spread me out and pinned me down. Yanked at my clothing until my lower half was bare, items thrown away carelessly. My vision was a freezing cloud. Snow slapped my face and enclosed around areas it never should touch. There would be no point in fighting now, they had already won. Fist and strikes I might have blocked but this was something else./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="7ca2a5986b2490527d7e384099e0a0f1" /p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="451f022ed81319d6a35fe454e7c291fa"I had pushed it too far, again. I am a Hazara. I know my place. Not to question or argue with the Pashtuns, who see themselves above us. But too eager to see the sky, the branches I was climbing became few and far between. Snapping under my weight, I was too much, and now fell to my demise./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="451f022ed81319d6a35fe454e7c291fa" /p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="11f4430b0c198b9f1f1c33280a3fa5ec"My stomach dropped as I heard a zip cut through its teeth. Unstoppable trembling coursed my limbs, not only caused by the winter night setting in. The claws clamped down, arms sinking. A weight adjusted itself, securing my unclad legs. Emotions bubbling and breath hitched, I could not think. My body took its role, limp and malleable, dutifully serving the master's commands./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="11f4430b0c198b9f1f1c33280a3fa5ec" /p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="a020fdf29ae4f8d71beb8a91a32893c4"I turned my head, in need of a distraction. To not scream, give satisfaction, draw attention to this evil. There, in the distance, something – someone – caught my attention. A familiar tuft of brown hair outlined at the end of the alley. The exact clothing I had seen hours earlier. Dazed eyes lingering, on my discarded pants, on me. Gone in less than a blink of an eye./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="a020fdf29ae4f8d71beb8a91a32893c4" /p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="aeb06d60c431a38c49e19e7eb9f45191"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"You saw. And you ran, the shock stained your face. You were there for less than a moment, but you had seen enough to know. In my weakest moment you fled./em Bas./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="aeb06d60c431a38c49e19e7eb9f45191" /p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="449c9285f7ed3b907d14b7df95ebddd5"Pain shot through me, but it could hardly compare to seeing my only friend run away. The threatening tears cascaded, melting the harsh ice on my face. My chest was on fire. I could not breathe./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="449c9285f7ed3b907d14b7df95ebddd5" /p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="9ae8dd739e90a5158907cb83bb363f34"It was endless. Trapped between hot breaths and icy slush, shirt splitting on the rubble I laid upon. em style="box-sizing: border-box;"Bas./em I prayed to Allah, silently begged for something to save me, for this to stop. But I knew that would not happen, not for a Hazara./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="9ae8dd739e90a5158907cb83bb363f34" /p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="685a5647f136d481ebcfe479cf4845eb"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"I hoped Father would forgive me for this sin, the injuries I could not explain. The shame I had caused upon us, and your family too, Amir. I wondered if you would still accept me, treat me as you always had./em/p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="685a5647f136d481ebcfe479cf4845eb" /p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="90e859f8190ad977c966dbd71a8a6963"We were so close. I thought of all we did together. The games, tree carvings, movies. Here I was, Hassan, a Great Sultan of Kabul defending our land. Giving his life for his people. I thought of the stories you would read and write. Always so well-spoken, so sad. Maybe this would become a story of yours one day./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="90e859f8190ad977c966dbd71a8a6963" /p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="0a2e7783dd55a2775a35a91e9ef32c66"So numb, I did not realise they were finally done with me until the cold sting of the snow was replaced by the comfort of my faded, corduroy pants. It had taken me longer than it had that morning to put them back on. I felt oozing through my clothes, drips tainting the disturbed snow like pomegranate seeds. Deep red stains flowing free./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="0a2e7783dd55a2775a35a91e9ef32c66" /p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="0875870f90fb9806db47808ec1b14bf4"No words exchanged before the boys turned, chased each other back home for supper. Like I had been a mere uninteresting toy, to throw away after use. Abandoned in the dimming alleyway. /p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="0875870f90fb9806db47808ec1b14bf4" /p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="a1f9e1cd0554860b79690d70ceeb7a94"I was hurt. Embarrassed. I wanted to crawl away into a small ball so no one would see, no one would know. Dirtier than the dust that settled on those surrounding mud slabs. Everything around me now seemed a little emptier and harsh, less vibrant. The world not as kind as I once imagined./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="a1f9e1cd0554860b79690d70ceeb7a94" /p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="c517ab2ce1a2476c82da8d8f590be1f0"I wanted kindness and comfort you gave me when you would read me stories under the pomegranate tree. I was sure, as sure as the sun would rise at morning tomorrow that you, would. But, now was not the time for that. I should not worry you with such petty matters. Today was your day of achievement, my troubles beside the point. /p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="c517ab2ce1a2476c82da8d8f590be1f0" /p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="ec06ad78b062ebfe09ae7e7da4cd4dac"The blue kite invaded my vision. The finely woven cloth that had been longed for. The prized possession for you, who won it, to be envied by all others./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="ec06ad78b062ebfe09ae7e7da4cd4dac" /p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="733883b0245fd5340b47d99613491814""It will always remind you of what I'm about to do," em style="box-sizing: border-box;"he/em had said. The cause of everything./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="733883b0245fd5340b47d99613491814" /p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="f6c3e941f8d140e7087cfeb865537254"Father would tell me not to be judging, not be so selfish. Others have their own stories too. How could I blame you, for running? When you had only thought of returning home safe, to please Baba. Or that crazed leader who desired power, and his loyal sidekicks who only sought acceptance./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="f6c3e941f8d140e7087cfeb865537254" /p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="f94910f2c4c87385f7af5cdb8cb6f929"We all needed something. All had something to fight for. All had lost and gained something more that chilling evening./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="f94910f2c4c87385f7af5cdb8cb6f929" /p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="355efd44a22abe82f6aa66f3a0b06650"I had promised you that kite, a thousand times over. And now I clutched it, in both my soiled, shaking hands. Almost mimicking Father as I hobbled, slowly, back to you. Back home./p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="355efd44a22abe82f6aa66f3a0b06650" /p  
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; font-size: 18px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="e42bec9ebf85a26d200e955928c5b248"I hoped you would not think lowly of me, I would never think any lower of you. /p


End file.
